1..2..3...CLEAR!

Hearts. Hearts. Hearts.

I feel like this discussion has over whelmed my life. I am having nightly dreams of people in my life suffering from heart disease. Haha. But I have good news!

Both my brother Stefen and Dad had pacemaker/ICD's put in on Friday and they are already doing SO well! For those of you who don't know what an ICD is, don't feel bad. Neither did I until I did my homework. You know those shocker things you always see on TV? Or when your at the mall they're hanging on the wall and if someone starts having heart attach/etc you ramp it up, yell "CLEAR!" and then shock them?

Well, that's exactly what it is except an ICD is a tiny-mini version that they put inside your chest. Then it has leads that go into your heart to detect your heart rate.

Yes. This means my Dad and brother are BIONIC MEN!!

How cool is that?! And how grateful am I?

1. That there were no complications.

and 2. Because they are healing so quickly. They say it just feels like a big bruise.

It's crazy though because you can actually SEE the machine through their skin. It's like they have a big block sticking out of their chest on the left side. This is the best picture I could find to describe it. But once my Dad and brother are more healed maybe I'll get a picture of theirs.

So there you have it, they're robots now =) It feels so good to know they'll be ok and that if their heart's ever need any help doing it's job it has something there 24-7 making sure it works right.

The doctor's say I need one too but I don't have any insurance right now so...we kind of have to wait for that to happen first. JUST the cost of the machine is $50,000. YEAH! Haha. Don't quite think Matt and I are there yet. But through the new health bill I can go back on my Dad's insurance even though I'm married so come January we'll have a better idea when that will happen.

Hmm, and of course all of this makes me think of Jesse. Dr. Hwang said the pacemaker/ICD could have saved Jesse's life. Of course that's not the easiest thing to hear. It brings all kind of "what if's" and other painful questions but I have faith...Matt and I were talking about what if Jesse did have it? Would he still be here? Or would Heavenly Father have just found another way to call him home? I can only answer so confidently because of the strong YES booming in my heart. I believe Jesse was taken for a very specific reason. We don't understand, we probably wont until we get to see him again. I have faith that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing.

Which basically means, I'm not quite there yet =) I still have some things to learn, errands to run, people to help...before I'm going anywhere. I'm still very much imperfect and I'm grateful for the time I have to prepare my self more. The time to be with my family, making memories, being together.