You know when your little and you have this idea in your head of what your life is going to be like when you grow up? Your plan, so to speak. I'm pretty sure you have. Unless your a psychic and already know the outcome, otherwise why wouldn't you think about it? Well for me, my life looked something like this...
Go to college to become a nurse.
Meet me a handsome, smart, spiritual, caring, thoughtful, sexy, romantic....etc. etc. man.
Graduate from school and start working in emergency medicine.
Get married in the temple.
Move out of Utah.
Keep working and traveling the world.
After a few years have babies.
Live happily ever after.
Simple and to the point, yeah? Ok, so I watered it down a tad (and by tad I mean a LOT) for you. But until recently I've really starting rethinking my whole plan. Obviously, it's all out of order! I mean, I haven't graduated. I don't even know if I want to be a nurse and work in emergency medicine anymore. I did marry my handsome, smart, spiritual, caring, thoughtful, sexy, romantic....etc.etc. man. But that's because it was something I wasn't willing to negotiate.
No. The real thing I'd been rethinking is the whole babies thing. Up until this month I always just assumed Matt and I would have babies. We both want to be parents and find it fun to guess what we'll have and what he/she will look like. But with the recent event of doctors explaining with every child we have it's a 50% chance they might have HCM, well... for the first time someone sat us down, told us our options, and asked us straight up: "Do you plan on having children?"
I was going to say yes without thinking about it. But something made me stop and really consider what that meant. Could I bring a child into this world knowing they could have this disease? What if they did have the disease? Would they blame me for it? If their life was hard because of it would they hold it against me? What if we lost a child because of it? So many thoughts I'd never had before came flooding.
Matt and I have talked so much about this recently. And we decided that yes we really do want to have children. Our children. And we're so excited that we know our options of how to deal with or prevent HCM in those babies, when that time comes.
I mean come on! Those kids will be lucky enough to have such sexy parents as us!