Monday, March 28, 2011

reflecting on new happenings

It's been a while since I've sat down and spat out one of my random blogs and I decided it's about time I catch everyone up on what's been going on in the Bartlett home.

Aside from the mounds of homework and tests (thank goodness Midterm is over) and being sick with a minor, yet very annoying, head cold...we have managed to add more to our plate. Yes, apparently us Bartlett's like to keep busy.

Remember 6 months ago when Matt and I moved into our new apartment? We were so glad to be in a new apartment with real air conditioning! I remember unpacking and thinking I could really see us living in this apartment for a long time...well, until I finished school that is.

Unfortunately, we're at it again.

Moving I mean.

About a month or so ago Matt and I started talking about our plans. I realized how much schooling I really had left and we both realized we needed a change. Originally we wanted to stay in Utah until I was done with school and then leave after. It's just cleaner and easier, not having to worry about transferring credits and all that. Except then we talked to my counselor who told us that my school actually transfers credits directly with Santa Barbara City College.

And a door was opened. We could move to Santa Barbara, I would continue going to school and working on my degree, and even be able to graduate from UVU! It sounded pretty good to us. We were both really excited and knew we just needed to pray about it.

And after about a month of praying and looking for apartments, we're feeling like moving to Santa Barbara really is the best place for us to be right now. It's interesting how prayers work...1 year ago Matt and I were engaged and planned to move to Santa Barbara right after the wedding. Literally, the week after the honeymoon pack up and move but we kept getting this feeling that it just wasn't the right time...

Sure enough a week and half later my little brother Jesse passed suddenly and unexpectedly. I don't know what I would have done if I wasn't so close to home when I got the news. I would have regretted not being there with my parents at the hospital, not crying and holding all my siblings as we realized he was really gone. I believe Heavenly Father knew I needed my family and they needed me..and so we stayed. And I have cherished the last 9 months of being close with them.

I really do love my family with all my heart. My heart burns just thinking of each of them and how they've influenced me. Some people think 8 children is too many (yes, I'm number 5 of 8 kids) and they think we'd all get lost in the craziness. Well let me tell life would be drastically sadder and duller with any one of them missing. Jesse is a testament of that. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Some days it makes me so happy because I know I'll get to see him again. And other days are harder because it doesn't feel soon enough.

But now here I am. I've almost been married to Mr. Matthew for a year! That is just insane to me. It feels like just yesterday I went to bed thinking "Tomorrow I marry my Mr. Darcy." (Yeah, all while growing up I referred to my dream guy and future hubby as Mr. Darcy - if you haven't seen Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth, get on it!) I look back and remember so many wonderful and fun times. Yes, I know we've had our struggles...what newly weds don't. But I literally (LITERALLY people, not figuratively) cannot remember one bad memory or fight we've had. Which has been a huge lesson and blessing.

So we're starting this new chapter in our life. We're moving to a new town, with new people, and new adventures waiting for us! I am so excited! And feel so humbled to really live in this life. Not just go day to day, but breathe the fresh air, see life with a different and precious view.

Because this life is, after all, so so precious.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

is there more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Today in Photography was presentation day.

These days are always kind of intimidating because you have to get up in front of the entire class and show the photos you took that *hopefully* meet all the requirements. Everyone then gets to critique and comment on them, so that we can all learn and progress...I'm sure. Today was especially intimidating for me because a lot of the photos being presented were of yours truly - me.

I'm not sure what chain of events lead to my photography teacher selecting me as the model for this assignment but it basically consisted of me sitting in spotlight for a good chunk of class while everyone snapped away, every day that week. All the lights were off, but a bright blinding light shining right on my face. No one was talking. I was sitting there...with a tummy ache, trying to be pretty and not think of all the zits, the bags, slouchy shoulders, belly rolls, and so many other things. And today, I got to see all the pictures people took...and listen to them comment...

I. did. not. like it.

Of course everyone was really nice and that's not why I felt uncomfortable, I just did.

It made me think back and remember the days I actually did model. Or...was being trained to model. Yeah. Believe it or not, just after I graduated from high school I was spotted at the Orem mall by an agent and everything snow balled from there.
I became totally famous and have millions of dollars...Ok, not quite =)

But I was spotted by an agency, turned it down, and instead decided to audition for ITS. A company that trains and preps the Talent for an entire year and then you go to a big showcase in Florida where you basically have a week long audition for some of the top agencies in the world.

I thought I really wanted to be a model. It was fun getting pampered and all dressed up to do photo shoots. I made some really good friends and we'd strut up and down the runway and laughed at how fun it'd be if we were wasn't until I got down to Florida that my nerves really kicked in. I realized I wasn't nearly as talented as some of my competitors and that I wasn't as skinny either. Which is what modeling is all about. I then came to find out if you were signed by most of the agencies there they had a strict contract that said no eating 48 hours before a show and no drinking anything 24 hours prior.


Is it just me or does that sound major extreme? I think as soon as I learned that I knew I was not cut out for it. However fun it would be to travel the world modeling in front of the camera...I couldn't and didn't want to sacrifice my health physically and mentally.

So it's kind of funny to me that (at one point) I thought I wanted to be in a business where my face was on display and now...just seeing my picture display in front of my small-ish photography class could make me so anxious. Matt said to me, "Think how movie stars feel seeing their picture (good and bad) everywhere!" ...and I'd never thought about that before. I'm glad that there are people out there who like having their picture not only taken but displayed for anyone and everyone to see.

But as for me...the only pictures of my face I want posted...are my own funny, goofy, dorky ones.

p.s. yeah, Matthew got me some more beautiful flowers. I seriously love that man.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

pretty things

These are the new kitchen decorations we got over the weekend. It's not completely finished yet but I love the direction it's headed...

As you can see the new theme I'm creating in the kitchen is going to be a rustic white and earthy green. I think it feels really fresh and clean. I have some more ideas, unfortunately those are going to have to wait for now. It's so fun getting ready for spring! And all the new seasons as they come. That being said, I am completely way more than ready for spring to be here.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

the blah monster

Today was basically a very blah day.

For some reason I just woke up feeling super blah. And on top of was Thursday. It doesn't help that Thursdays are basically jam packed full of things until 9:00PM. I don't get a break until 9 o'clock at night.

So here it is 10:27PM and my eyes are blood shot and hurty, my body is achey, my mind has become scrambled eggs, and the last thing I want to do is study for the biology test I have next Mon. Clearly the reason I'm here blogging, ha. I am the pro-crastinator, remember? So in times when the blah reaches maximum strength, 2 things help...

A. Knowing that so far in that class I have an A, so I just have to focus on keeping it that way. And B. when I came home from school today, Matt had surprises waiting for me =) Not only did he get me some beautiful flowers, but he remembered me mentioning (I barely remember) that I wanted to get new sheets for our bed so he went to Bed Bath and Beyond and got the highest thread count available.
I heart him.
And...he picked up the package I'd been waiting for from the post office that's clear down in Provo =)

Everyone knows I can get cranky when I'm tired...I even know I can get cranky when I'm tired. And it makes me feel bad that sometimes Matt falls victim to the blah monster. But I must say, nothing teaches a better lesson than feeling spoiled rotten after you know you haven't been a peach. His simple acts of kindness were (and always are) the perfect cure to my grumpy, tired, blah-filled heart.