is there more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?

Today in Photography was presentation day.

These days are always kind of intimidating because you have to get up in front of the entire class and show the photos you took that *hopefully* meet all the requirements. Everyone then gets to critique and comment on them, so that we can all learn and progress...I'm sure. Today was especially intimidating for me because a lot of the photos being presented were of yours truly - me.

I'm not sure what chain of events lead to my photography teacher selecting me as the model for this assignment but it basically consisted of me sitting in spotlight for a good chunk of class while everyone snapped away, every day that week. All the lights were off, but a bright blinding light shining right on my face. No one was talking. I was sitting there...with a tummy ache, trying to be pretty and not think of all the zits, the bags, slouchy shoulders, belly rolls, and so many other things. And today, I got to see all the pictures people took...and listen to them comment...

I. did. not. like it.

Of course everyone was really nice and that's not why I felt uncomfortable, I just did.

It made me think back and remember the days I actually did model. Or...was being trained to model. Yeah. Believe it or not, just after I graduated from high school I was spotted at the Orem mall by an agent and everything snow balled from there.

I became totally famous and have millions of dollars...Ok, not quite =)

But I was spotted by an agency, turned it down, and instead decided to audition for ITS. A company that trains and preps the Talent for an entire year and then you go to a big showcase in Florida where you basically have a week long audition for some of the top agencies in the world.

I thought I really wanted to be a model. It was fun getting pampered and all dressed up to do photo shoots. I made some really good friends and we'd strut up and down the runway and laughed at how fun it'd be if we were chosen...it wasn't until I got down to Florida that my nerves really kicked in. I realized I wasn't nearly as talented as some of my competitors and that I wasn't as skinny either. Which is what modeling is all about. I then came to find out if you were signed by most of the agencies there they had a strict contract that said no eating 48 hours before a show and no drinking anything 24 hours prior.

WHAT?!?!?!

Is it just me or does that sound major extreme? I think as soon as I learned that I knew I was not cut out for it. However fun it would be to travel the world modeling in front of the camera...I couldn't and didn't want to sacrifice my health physically and mentally.

So it's kind of funny to me that (at one point) I thought I wanted to be in a business where my face was on display and now...just seeing my picture display in front of my small-ish photography class could make me so anxious. Matt said to me, "Think how movie stars feel seeing their picture (good and bad) everywhere!" ...and I'd never thought about that before. I'm glad that there are people out there who like having their picture not only taken but displayed for anyone and everyone to see.

But as for me...the only pictures of my face I want posted...are my own funny, goofy, dorky ones.

p.s. yeah, Matthew got me some more beautiful flowers. I seriously love that man.