on the fritz

I'm writing this from my couch on the ipad because we played hookie today on account of us not feeling too good. My heart is on the fritz and last night was the worst it's been in years. I called the doctor and left a message for him, not wanting to bother him on a Sunday, and he'll call tomorrow so we can get to the bottom of it. I have a feeling this is just a part of the game, though. Until they find a cure, dealing with symptoms of HCM is as good as it will get. Yay! 

At times like this I find myself having to find creative ways to describe my symptoms to not just Husband, but doctors too. I feel as time goes on and I've become more fluent in the world of tests, doctors appointments, etc the more creative my metaphors and descriptions become. It's probably due to the fact that for years doctors tried to tell me my symptoms were heart burn, the muscles in my chest wall, or something else entirely. Like, that my heart is on the wrong side of my chest entirely. I've literally heard it all. 

See if you say, "my heart hurts," that can mean 100 different things, especially to doctors. It's open to interpretations. But if you say, "it feels like my heart is a nerf ball that's being squeezed to the size of a pea," or "it feels like the top half of my heart is doing the Macarena while the bottom half is doing the 6th grade sway-slow dance." Well, if you say that, they've never heard that before so they have to think twice as hard. Sometimes it's fun to try to confuse them. 

I've wondered what kind of reaction I'd get if I said something like, "it feels like the creepy guy from Indiana Jones and the temple of doom is ripping my heart out and then putting it in a garlic press." Something so completely unrelatable. I'm sure for someone who's heart doesn't have a mind if its own  any metaphor would be confusing. Like explaining to a blind person what purple looks like. Or to a dog why he can't eat chocolate.

 It can be frustrating. But at least I can have some fun with it. 

Ps. I'm watching twilight right now and... is anyone else made extremely uncomfortable by all of Edward and Bella's loud breathing?? Seriously. It's gross. 

pictures of us

I have a question for the universe. How many pictures are too many pictures to hang of you and your significant other? Obviously, this would be in my own home. I can't help but feel you can definitely have too many. And I don't want to be tacky. But then how do I decide which ones to hang? There is a part of me that never ever wants to switch out our engagement/wedding pictures, but those are coming up on 3 years old. So when do I give in and only have 1 or 2 pictures from our engagements and the rest of more recent years? 

Universe, do you hear me?! Can you please answer this for me?  I need a designer. Husband and I went to Pottery Barn today and I'm not sure if the lady was just humoring us or what, but she seriously asked if we wanted her to get The Designer. THE Designer. Yeah, as if we could afford a designer, let alone THE designer. Haha.

Anyway, this whole problem of mine occurred because my gorgeous sister in law was kind enough to take some pictures of us for a Christmas card this year. We chose clothes that are nonseasonal so if we choose to print them, they wouldn't have any specific time frame. And I just love them all! It was the shortest photo shoot ever, like 30 minutes tops, but she managed to crunch so many gems in there. And because this is my blog, I'm going to post some of them. 

a.) Squinting helps so you can't see our double chins. The view of the palm trees and sunset, gorgeous.

b.) Sawyer only lasted for the 1st half. He has this thing with seagulls where he tries to chase them every chance he gets, which makes for a difficult time considering we were on a beach with hundred of them. I don't think he's gotten as far as if he actually caught one, because he's the most 

scardy-cat dog I know. He'd probably be more terrified than the seagull if he found himself nose to beak with one.

c.) Sawyers expression is priceless. 

d.) When referring to my toes I manage to always say tootsies (farts), at which point, husband cracks up laughing and corrects me, "You mean tutsies?" Every. Single. Time.

e.) "aaawe."

f.) "so cute" Hahaha.

g.) Christmas Card winner.

h.) More ooing...

i.) and aweing.

classes, book club & decorating, oh my!

Classes start on Monday and I am through the moon excited! Strange, especially considering how little I like SBCC, but I'm so excited to be busy again. And isn't it the best getting ready for a new semester? Notebooks, pencils, finding your classrooms, text books. It's poetic. I can't wait!

Also, I was just invited to an online book club!!!!! And yes. I realize being excited about that makes me about 90 years old. I've read blogs that call other blogs their online friends and never really understood. Maybe because making friends in person is hard, I can only imagine making online friends would be that much harder. But this group of girls are legit cool. Like, the world is small, but I wish it was that much smaller so I could actually meet these girls and be their real life bff. Haha. And I have to laugh at myself for saying that because it's so lame beans, but whatev. 

Our first book is:

I know they always say don't judge a book by it's cover, but how can you not?! It's going to be awesome. I know it.

Also, Husband and I are redecorating! Like, our entire house. We're redoing it all. I guess since we haven't figured out where we want to move yet, redecorating is the next best thing. Soooo whippeee!! Here's to pretty things that I have been drooling over for the past year:

christmas time

I was just looking through our photos from December and pathetically I already miss Christmas. I never did a decent Christmas post, so let me dump some of my favorite photos now.

^ My 25th Birthday. We got our Christmas tree.

^ Santa Barbara Christmas Parade

^ Christmas Trolley parade of lights. Seriously. Jaw dropping. Some of these houses were INSANE.

^His absolute favorite. This flash light still goes everywhere with him. He thinks he's the shiz whenever he gets to whip it out like a boss. 

^My gorgeous Michael Kors boyfriend watch. Seriously?! Husband did gooooood!

^ Matt and I's early Christmas together in Santa Barbara.

Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of Christmas at my parents. Mostly because I spent it deathly sick. No just teasing. Not deathly, just very sick. What's Christmas without a visit to the ER? At one point, between dry heaving and throwing up stomach bile, Matt picked me up and said, "I'm taking you to the hospital!" Even though I was crying, "Nooooo."...Husband definitely knew best. Drugs are the answer and only answer when you have the zombie barf. That man. Sure is a smarty. And does a mighty fine job taking care of me... I think he might just love me.