Wednesday, May 22, 2013

the office makes you cry

Have you seen the season finale of The Office? If you haven't don't read this...there are spoilers.

I had my last final today. It was for sociology. And to say I'm relieved it's over is a huge understatement. I had an A in the class so I might have gotten to a point where I stopped studying as much as I usually do and did other stuff instead.

After that I went to the dermatologist to get some moles looked at. On our way there Matt was telling me how much work he had to do and I told him if he needed to stay home and work that was okay! I could go by myself. But he is so supportive and sweet and knew I was a little nervous and came with me anyway. So I sat there in my little paper gown, stripped from all my clothing except my garment bottoms (which I rolled up into the silliest looking granny panties you've ever seen) and we waited. When the doctor came in it was mostly "let me check your scalp, show me your arms, let's look between your toes" so Matt pulled out his phone to do what work he could. Now, if you've been to one of these visits you know there's a point where they check more than just your scalp, arms and toes. They check you EVERYWHERE. It was at this point that Matt randomly decided to zone back in and looked up to see me flashing the doctor and the nurse. Matts expression was so funny, I couldn't help but blush, and when we got in the car he told me why, "Usually when I see you like that, it's just me!" Haha. Even though it was a bit awkward having the doctor, "Yes, we look 'down there' too." I'm glad I went in because I ended up having a pre-cancerous spot on my nose. Fortunately he was able to freeze/burn it and wa-la! No more precancerous spot! I now only have a big red nose that he warned me would get more red and more puffy...but only before it turns black and falls off. Good thing I don't have anything major this week.

Anyway, all of this brings us to The Office because we'd been waiting to watch it for a good night. A night that I didn't have homework or was studying, that Matt wasn't working like crazy, a night that didn't have activity days, or we were babysitting, or any of the other number of things that consume our lives. And we decided the last day of my finals would be perfect! So we made an early dinner and started The Office. 
There's this scene towards the middle, it's at Dwight's wedding and Jim is the best man. You actually see that after 9 years of working together, they've come to understand, appreciate and even care for each other. But Jim tells Dwight he can't be his best man anymore because according to the Schrute rules the best man has to be older than the groom. It's at this point that the camera turns around and 
lo-and-behold, guess who is standing there? MICHAEL SCOTT! Matt and I both literally broke down and started crying. 
This random TV show has been there through so many phases of my life. It was there during crushes, and break ups, during my own office experiences, during family drama, friend drama, good times and bad times. I feel like I've grown along with the characters. And when Michael left the show I missed him so much. That may be weird, but I did. I missed him as much as I would have missed any real person I had a friendship with in life. And I think after all those years of him being gone from the show, and missing him, and watching the old seasons of The Office and remembering what it use to be, and then all the sudden...there he was!

My brother passed away almost 3 years ago. There isn't a day that I don't still think about it. Some days I just think, and some days I cry and hurt like it just happened. My grandparents are both getting old and were recently in the hospital. I talked to them yesterday and they both told me, "How does 10 more years sound?" And I broke down crying. Because I'm selfish. I know they're ready. They've lived a full life and done all of the things they wanted to do. They're even excited to see all of their loved ones that have left them. But I am selfish. And I want them to stay with me. I don't want another person to miss. I guess, life is just full of missing people though. And seeing Michael Scott, probably one of my favorite humans of all time (never mind that he's fictional) after missing him for what felt like so long... I think it will be only a fraction of the kind of joy and relief I'll feel when I get to see my little brother again. When I'll get to see all of the people I've had to say goodbye to and miss so much.

The Office was suppose to be a funny sit-com and they've completely turned it into something so much more. 

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."
-Andy Bernard

Which is why I'm so grateful for this life that I have. How true that statement is. The troubles you think plague your life today, will be your most fond memories tomorrow. It just makes me want to record everything about this life so I don't forget or take one second, or person for granted.

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