pictures I don't put on instagram but are equally awesome

a.) My best friends little sister got married last weekend, aka, basically my little sister. It was so much fun getting together and celebrating such a monumental step in her life. Also, I can't remember the last I was there with her whole family together. They were like my 2nd family from middle school all the way through high school. When her Dad said he liked Matt and thought he was, "a really cool guy." I almost died. Not because I was surprised, because come on, Matt is a seriously awesome dude, but because from boyfriend #1 none of them were good enough for me! 

b.) I've finally gotten on top of putting all our random little trinkets put together in one place. At first I thought I'd hate having things so disorganized but I seriously am obsessed! I love being able to open up to any random page and be reminded of a whole variety of memories.

c.) Going to lunch with my baby bu.

d.) Right after the dermatologist burned off my pre-cancer spot on my nose. It hurt. It's officially begun to turn brown/black...

e.) After my best friend's little sister's wedding Matt surprised me with a spontaneous trip to Disneyland! It was our first time going with just the 2 of us and it was definitely special. Not to mention there were like, no lines. I think we got through the Indiana Jones ride in 15 min or less. It was nuts!

f.) Matt realized most of our pictures were kissing ones. Oops! :) Hashtag, sorry not sorry! 

g.) Matt has bought me about 10 different set of roses this month. And I don't want to sound spoiled or anything but I'm definitely getting used to having beautiful, fresh, candy-scented flowers all over the house. 

h.) Sawyer begging for his doggy crack aka those greenie denty sticks. Seriously. Those things are made of crack!

i.) That's just Husband looking sharp as usual. 

j.) More delicious roses.

k.) Random pictures I find on my phone that Matt took of his precious proteins. That man loves his bacon. Hahaha. 

l.) Sawyer being all like, "Yo!" & "I lub you."

the office makes you cry

Have you seen the season finale of The Office? If you haven't don't read this...there are spoilers.

I had my last final today. It was for sociology. And to say I'm relieved it's over is a huge understatement. I had an A in the class so I might have gotten to a point where I stopped studying as much as I usually do and did other stuff instead.

After that I went to the dermatologist to get some moles looked at. On our way there Matt was telling me how much work he had to do and I told him if he needed to stay home and work that was okay! I could go by myself. But he is so supportive and sweet and knew I was a little nervous and came with me anyway. So I sat there in my little paper gown, stripped from all my clothing except my garment bottoms (which I rolled up into the silliest looking granny panties you've ever seen) and we waited. When the doctor came in it was mostly "let me check your scalp, show me your arms, let's look between your toes" so Matt pulled out his phone to do what work he could. Now, if you've been to one of these visits you know there's a point where they check more than just your scalp, arms and toes. They check you EVERYWHERE. It was at this point that Matt randomly decided to zone back in and looked up to see me flashing the doctor and the nurse. Matts expression was so funny, I couldn't help but blush, and when we got in the car he told me why, "Usually when I see you like that, it's just me!" Haha. Even though it was a bit awkward having the doctor, "Yes, we look 'down there' too." I'm glad I went in because I ended up having a pre-cancerous spot on my nose. Fortunately he was able to freeze/burn it and wa-la! No more precancerous spot! I now only have a big red nose that he warned me would get more red and more puffy...but only before it turns black and falls off. Good thing I don't have anything major this week.

Anyway, all of this brings us to The Office because we'd been waiting to watch it for a good night. A night that I didn't have homework or was studying, that Matt wasn't working like crazy, a night that didn't have activity days, or we were babysitting, or any of the other number of things that consume our lives. And we decided the last day of my finals would be perfect! So we made an early dinner and started The Office. 

There's this scene towards the middle, it's at Dwight's wedding and Jim is the best man. You actually see that after 9 years of working together, they've come to understand, appreciate and even care for each other. But Jim tells Dwight he can't be his best man anymore because according to the Schrute rules the best man has to be older than the groom. It's at this point that the camera turns around and 

lo-and-behold, guess who is standing there? MICHAEL SCOTT! Matt and I both literally broke down and started crying. 

This random TV show has been there through so many phases of my life. It was there during crushes, and break ups, during my own office experiences, during family drama, friend drama, good times and bad times. I feel like I've grown along with the characters. And when Michael left the show I missed him so much. That may be weird, but I did. I missed him as much as I would have missed any real person I had a friendship with in life. And I think after all those years of him being gone from the show, and missing him, and watching the old seasons of The Office and remembering what it use to be, and then all the sudden...there he was!

My brother passed away almost 3 years ago. There isn't a day that I don't still think about it. Some days I just think, and some days I cry and hurt like it just happened. My grandparents are both getting old and were recently in the hospital. I talked to them yesterday and they both told me, "How does 10 more years sound?" And I broke down crying. Because I'm selfish. I know they're ready. They've lived a full life and done all of the things they wanted to do. They're even excited to see all of their loved ones that have left them. But I am selfish. And I want them to stay with me. I don't want another person to miss. I guess, life is just full of missing people though. And seeing Michael Scott, probably one of my favorite humans of all time (never mind that he's fictional) after missing him for what felt like so long... I think it will be only a fraction of the kind of joy and relief I'll feel when I get to see my little brother again. When I'll get to see all of the people I've had to say goodbye to and miss so much.

The Office was suppose to be a funny sit-com and they've completely turned it into something so much more. 

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."
-Andy Bernard

Which is why I'm so grateful for this life that I have. How true that statement is. The troubles you think plague your life today, will be your most fond memories tomorrow. It just makes me want to record everything about this life so I don't forget or take one second, or person for granted.

bang bang

The Great Gatsby was wonderful for so many reasons.

Such a beautiful and tragic story. I definitely recognized a lot more symbolism and meaning than the 6th grade Glenna that read the book oh-so-long-ago. Can I say I relate to Jay? In the fact that sometimes I feel my one down fall will be that I want too much, I ask for too much, I expect too much.

I don't think I could do it justice putting it into words. But in light of it being Finals week, and my brain being full of mush from studying, I thought I'd take a little break and enjoy the greatness that this is.

not goodbye

"Nothing you love is lost. Not really. Things, people - they always go away, sooner or later. You can't hold them, any more that you can hold moonlight. But if they've touched you, if they're inside of you, then they're still yours. The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart."

a thousand years

When Matt heard me listening to this song the other day he just started laughing. I'm not sure why...? Because Twilight is freaking awesome. I mean, what greater love is there than Edward and Bella?

You guessed it. Sarcasm.

I was such a huge fan of all the Twilight books but once Kristen and Robert embodied my once favorite vampire-mortal couple...my fan-ism died. Seriously. I had such high hopes for them. And then their awful acting, lacking budget, and badly written scripts totally killed it.

But that doesn't change the fact that Matthew and I have gone to see every single movie in the theaters. And it doesn't change the fact that at the end of the last one, when they played this song, I teared up.

I totally did. And Matthew and I sat there holding hands, looking with big lovey doe-eyes at each other. It was like watching my high school graduation video or something. And the words of the song really hit me. Sometimes, I forget what eternity means. And it takes a cheesy song from Twilight to remind me. It means waking up when I'm 99 years old and wrinkly and fat and seeing those same big, dark blue eyes, that same big smile I've fallen in love with so many times. It means when I'm laying on my death bed, holding the love of my life's hand, I don't have to be afraid because I know I'll see him again and we'll continue on loving and laughing in a whole new world.

I will never have to go a day without Matthew by my side and so even though this song is tied with such a horrible movie like Twilight, that's okay. I still love it anyway. I still even love Twilight.

welcome to your new home!

It has 2 bedroom and 1 bath. The carpets are purple. The counters are crumbling and stained. The windows are not double paned, nor sealed. The tub is sure to get you more dirty than clean. The heater only works in the living room. There is no air conditioning. The yard is in shambles. The garage is Shelobs lier and if you walk on the balcony above the master bedroom, it will cave in on you.

And for only $2,700 a month (utilities not included: gas, water, electric, trash, internet, cable) you can call this craftsman cottage home sweet home! 

Do you want an application?

O_O 

Yeah. That was Husbands response too. 

No, nice man. We don't want an application. But we'll kindly take one just to make it less obvious that we were not impressed and will not be pursuing your "craftsman cottage." Thank you for wishing us luck on our search though, we'll need it, but I have a feeling not as much as you.

california

Today is the 2 year anniversary of when Husband and I crammed all our belongings into a huge Uhaul truck and headed West. AKA: moved to California. I can't even believe it's been that long. When I think about it, it feels so much longer than 2 years, and at the same time, like there's no way possible that it's been 2 years already. Sawyer has spent the majority of his life in this house, in California. We've had more Christmas's in this house, than any other house. 

So, as a way to acknowledge that the home, this home, that I thought would just be a jumping point for us and we wouldn't be here longer than 12 months... has really become more permanent than we both ever suspected, I (no this sentence isn't over yet) present you with a list.

Yes, a list. Of all the things that I've had to adjust to since moving to good ol' California.

1. Spiders - Never thought it was possible. But when I use to see a spider I'd scream bloody murder and run for my life. Where as now, I see a spider, gasp, but I'm able to calmly communicate to Husband there is an impostor in our house that needs to die STAT.

2. Dust - With no central air conditioning it didn't take long for me to realize my once weekly dusting really needed to be 5x a day dusting. I could dust, and dust, and dust some more and within an hour my beautiful black furniture will have gathered those lovely white little particles I've grown to love oh-so-much. Not really. I don't really love dust.

3. Beach bums - The homeless really, in all their glory. And not just the kind that scream and curse and carry on full conversations with themselves. But the kids of rich parents that just want to hang out in public areas and beg for money. Well, they don't always beg, sometimes they taunt and chase you if you can't find your giving nature so quickly.

4. Fleas - Yup. I never knew this about California but they have a huge flea problem. And not just the kind that get on your dog, but sand fleas too. Fleas that attach to you, bite you, come home with you and then have little flea babies. It's cute really...again, not really. Poor Sawyer has had the worst of it, no medicine seems to repel every single flea out there. And, unfortunately for Husband (who attracts fleas like a dog) there isn't medicine for him at all.

5. No AC - At least in this part of the state, any-who. I haven't quite fully adjusted to this actually. Every summer/fall I dread the heat wave that inevitably comes. That keeps me up at night, tossing and turning and slowly stripping off articles of clothing piece by piece. I still can't help but laugh every time someone says, "You don't need AC in SB! It doesn't get hot enough."
To them I say: "Sir or Madam, the wet spots under my arms detest that statement, as does the droplets of sweat gathering across my forehead, as does the thermometer which reads 80-95 degrees with humidity." But here I am. Another summer coming and Husband and I have started looking at portable AC units. So, yeah, I'd say I've somewhat adjusted, at least my expectations. Maybe one day I'll be delusional enough myself to say SB doesn't need AC...but then again, look at the length of this paragraph in comparison to the others.

6. Beach life - I live a good 3 min walk to the beach. And when I say beach, I mean sand between my toes, waves crashing on my feet, beach. Which means I also have the pleasure of listening to the sound of waves crashing when I sleep, or when I walk out my front door, or when I open a window. I've completely adjusted to leaving my windows open all year round.

7. Beach hair - I wont pretend like I've ever been that girl to have the perfect hair. In high school I use to try a lot harder. But now...it's not that I've gotten lazier but that my taste has changed and I just find the natural look more appealing. So the laid back, California waves has been awesome! The fact that I can let my hair air dry, in all it's natural frizzy glory, is just the bomb. (...sometimes it's annoying when I want to get dressed up but the humidity has other plans. Also, the wind hates fancy hair. They work together to insure all the time you spent making your hair fancy will, indeed, go wasted.)

8. The Habit - Is it sad that a restaurant/fast food place is on my list? It's delicious! The burgers are like $3.00 and you don't leave feeling greasy and disgusting after. It's like a legit home cooked burger. Plus their onion rings, forget about it! They're mighty tasty. Even their chicken salads are so good and filling. If we ever run out of food and don't want to go grocery shopping, Habit is our go-to spot. I love it. And when we move, I will miss it.

9. Dog friendly - I've noticed you can get away with taking your dog anywhere in this city. Nordstroms? No biggy. Dinner? Grab a table outside. So many businesses and people are so warm and friendly to pets here. I love it! It means so much to me knowing I can bring Sawyer with me and that 99% of the time we'll run into at least 1 or 2 shop owners that have a doggy water dish and treats for him. Plus, it makes him feel pretty special too.

10. Vacation central - It's so close to Disneyland, 6 Flags, Sea World, Catalina, an airport 20 min away, even skiing and snowboarding are available. You may have noticed on the blog, but Husband and I have gotten a traveling bug this year. It's like we've just realized we have all these fun and amazing experiences right at our fingertips! And we're ready to start taking full advantage of them.

So basically you can see it's like any relationship; a little give and a little take. But I've been on a mission to make our time here the most enjoyable it can be. It's not always easy, but I find the work it takes, is every little bit worth it.