mama to the rescue

For the last month I've been having a really hard time. When people ask why, I'm not sure what to tell them. The truth is, everything is hard. I've basically boiled it down to living in SB. 

Not that there is anything wrong with this town. But there is something wrong with finding people that have the same values and beliefs as you in this town. There's something wrong with taking classes in a place that teach material that I disagree with on almost every level. There is something wrong with finding friends. Friends I connect with. Friends that are good friends. That call. That put an effort into the relationship too.

Something is wrong with finding a good support system in this town. Matthew has played the part of so many more roles than just a Husband in the last 2 years. It's a good thing for me that he's such an amazing man because otherwise I think I would have ended up in the loony bin a long time ago.

Anyway, it wasn't until last week I broke down and told Matt I needed my Mom, and guess what? That night we called and booked a ticket for her to come out. She's been here since Sunday and I already feel like a million pounds has been lifted off my shoulders.
 
Sometimes you just need your Mom. Sometimes no one can fill that spot in your heart that has the word Mom written on it. When I was little, and okay...even when I was not so little (in high school,) whenever I was sick I'd crawl into my parents bed and my Mom would make it better.

Just being around her assures me that I'm special. That I'm loved. That I matter. And that I am me. I'm not this person that so many people treat me like I am. I'm not a disappointment or a failure. I'm my Mama's daughter and in this case, that's so much better than meeting anybody else's expectations.

She doesn't drown me with gifts.

She doesn't always say the perfect thing.

She can even make me so frustrated sometimes.

But she loves me more than anything in the whole wide world. And she does that perfectly 100% of the time. She's not perfect, but she loves me perfectly. And just being around her, I can feel that. I can feel her desire to do all the things she doesn't. And to me, that's even more meaningful.

It's so fun having her here and even though I have an exam tomorrow that I should be studying for, writing about how amazing and lucky I am to have her as the loving, caring, kind, giving, respectful, admirable, faithful, strong, down right incredible woman that she is felt way more important.

So there Psychology exam. Psychonalyze that.