my new favorite hang out spot = costco

Ummmm.

There is an entire row of Christmas decorations at Costco.

Yeah...would we be that weird crazy couple if we started decorating now?...We totally would.

I guess for now my delicious Leaves scented candle will have to do. Oh how I love the fall!!

And all the exciting things that come soon after.

When do you start decorating for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas?

break through

Since Mr. Matthew and I have been married there has been a big fat elephant in the room, my heart. And I do mean my physical heart, that like pumps blood and stuff. Not the one rappers and singers talk about in love songs. Rappers talk about love, right?

Basically, I have a very annoying heart that likes to do annoying things sometimes. It use to be a huge problem and has slowly gotten better. I have a few bad days, or weeks, where it likes to pop up and say "HI!" (in a very up-in-your-face kind of way.) But for the most part I'm able to live my life and forget about the big fat elephant. And it's wonderful. But those few times where it get's all slow and I can't breath very well, really freaks Matt out. So I don't blame him at all when he immediately wants to take me to the doctor and start doing tests. The only thing is, I've done all of that before...so many times! And every time it's inconclusive, they have no idea. They diagnose me with this, and then take it back, then diagnose me with something else and take it back. I just have a weird heart! And because of this I'm so reluctant to do any kind of tests or research.

But regardless of what my stubborn self feels, I am a married woman now, which means what my Mr. Matthew feels and thinks is equally important. So I finally agreed to casually do more tests. There's a research center that's not too far away that specializes in HCM (I would go into it except I already have in this and this post) and Matt really wants me to go in and see if they have any new information. The first step is compiling all my past medical records, which is such a chore, but guess what? I did it!

And even though it sounds like a little thing. I'm really proud of myself. There's been a lot of talk about getting an ICD (you can check that out over here) and for some reason it completely freaks me out. I'm majorly claustrophobic and thinking about having a little machine in me permanently?...bring on the anxiety attack.

But Matt has been so patient and loving with me through all of this.

My biggest fear was that I'd fall in love and when Mr. Right found out about my heart he would want nothing to do with it or me. Granted, this fear was aroused by doctors who told me of a patient that actually happened to, and the poor girl was engaged and had to call off her wedding and yeah... Why the doctor would tell me this? I don't know. But it was a legitimate fear. It still is. Any time my heart starts to get annoying the last thing I want is people knowing. And I realize this is a public blog and that by posting this I'm telling people about it, but at the same time this is more of a place for me to put my thoughts, random life events, big life events, things I find funny, etc. etc.

Also, I acknowledge this is a small blog and only my family and few friends read this.

But by some miracle of fate I met a man that isn't terrified of my crazy heart. Nor is he in any way pushy or impatient with me. He supports me when I feel overwhelmed and encourages me when I feel discouraged.

(Oops! How'd that get in there??...insert big cheesy grin here)

Mr. Right actually ended up being the right one. And I am eternally grateful for that.

things going down

Hello friends!

I have an announcement. Well a few of them actually.

I'm pregnant.

J.K.

(Hopefully I didn't just jinx myself, that would not be funny, but the joke just felt right at the time.)

Anyway, so it's been a while since I've done a post and there are so many things going on right now that I feel like if I don't put it down somewhere my brain is going to over flow all over the place. Have you ever felt that way? There are so many things your trying to remember and before you know it your putting your laundry away in the fridge and your grocery's in the dresser? I've never actually done that but give me a week and check back.

I don't know if I've ever told you about the gloriousness that is Fort Bridger but it is the most fun and exciting event of the year! Not to mention the A family reunion which makes it twice the bomb biggidy. My sister in law explained it the best way, so I'm going to steal her definition:

Fort Bridger is the location where the mountain man rendezvous is held over "Labor Day week/weekend. We go, spend a week camping and when we walk into 'town', we're dressed in period clothes (pre-1850's). There's all sorts of events to participate in as well: black powder rifle shooting, knife and tomahawk throwing, frying pan tosses...etc. There's miles of tents lined up with people who make/sell/buy/trade goods."

There is even a candy cannon. Yes. You heard me right. They shove a ton of candy into several canons and fire it over a big field and let the children, and few random adults (what?), go crazy scooping up handfuls of smoking candy. Basically, you can have all the candy your apron, bonnet, and greedy hands can hold. Can you believe that?! It's exactly what a girl and her hubby needs during the first week of the new semester.

Yeah. Heard me right again. School starts the day before we head out for this glorious tradition and reunion. Thank goodness my classes are online at least, although I haven't decided exactly how I feel about that.

A person can only be on top of so many things. Now I'm both self-employed and a student doing both from home. This will either be genius or disaster. My self discipline will be put to the ultimate test. I do take school very seriously and I'm afraid the confusion and newness of online classes will risk my grades. I can neither deny nor confirm that I have a 4.0, but I will say that I do.

Really, school is my first priority and then my job.

Actually, my marriage is my first priority but you get what I mean.

On top of all of that...Sawyer, my ever so adorable and cuddly pup, is going through a major rebellious stage. We'd been warned about this time in a puppies life but I admit it's much more frustrating than I expected.

Soybean does this thing where you tell him to sit and he looks you right in the face and just stands there. So then I give him the threatening tone and say, "Sawyerrrrrr...." Then he knows I mean business. But just because he's sassy he doesn't quite sit yet and just slowly walks in a circle before inch by inch lowers his bum like he's going to sit. But still wont actually sit. He'll hold his bum 1/2 an inch off the ground just to prove he doesn't have to sit if he doesn't want to. He's literally worse than a teenager. Well, maybe. Because at least Sawyer can't yell at us and say horrible things about us being the worst parents, or masters, or whatever.

Anyway, it's been a struggle. We just have to be firm and consistent with him.

By the end of this journey, we'll have the best most well behaved pup ever. And we're totally going to rock at training dogs. We might even open a dog training business....or not. Haha.

Let's be honest, I can be patient with Sawyer because he's my cute, cuddly, fluffy and very sassy puppy.

But I don't know if I'd have the patience for anyone else's pup.

i am O.P.

Yes, that came out of my head.

No, it wasn't the only one.

And yes...I feel like my life is practically over.

...

Not to be a drama queen or anything =) but clearly I am officially old. The day you pull multiple white, not gray my friends, but stark white hairs from your head, it doesn't matter if your only 23, you are old.

According to me.