A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief

I had one of the most humbling experiences two days ago (Sunday, August 1st 2010.) My Dad was flying in from Arizona, he had driven my grandma to her summer home, and my Mom thought it'd be a nice idea to get all the kids we could and surprise him at the airport! We had a fun drive with me, Matt and Chad all visiting in the car. I pretty much love my husband and my family! We're super awesome =) But anyway! Back to my story. When my Dad saw us all waiting there he just smiled so big, with teary eyes and gave us big hugs. I could tell it was a bitter sweet moment for him because all of his children were there but one...it made me miss Jesse, more than I usually do.

After that we decided to visit the oh-so-beautiful temple square. And I don't care how hot and miserable the weather is...you can't help but be happy and cheerful when you go to the temple. Besides, the last time we'd all been there like that was when Matt and I were sealed. My parents were sealed in that temple too, making it especially special to me. Except, I'm so mad because I was taking tons of pictures, as usual...it's a horrible obsession I have, and MY CAMERA CARD WAS FULL!! Bah! So I only got a few pictures of the magic. But this is where the humbling experience came in...

My Nephew Angelo.

We were all by the Eternity Pool, or whatever it's called, watching my nephews curiously touch and look at the water and this man came up to my Dad. He was nicely dressed, clean, I never would have guessed he was struggling financially, but then kind of fumbling with his hands and over his words he humbly asked my Dad if he needed a watch. My Dad rejected his offer not realizing at first but when he saw the look in the mans eyes, he knew he was really scared and hurting. After talking with him for a while my Dad found out this man's name was Daniel. He had a wife and 3 little girls waiting for him back at a Motel, all hungry and all waiting to be evicted that night at 10PM. His parents were serving a mission and when his business failed, he had no one to go to for help. And this is where we found him. Absolutely no food, no longer a place to live, and not begging...but humbly trying to sell every and any possession he had to support his family.

When Matt and I heard what Daniel and his family were struggling with it broke our hearts. Yes, my family has seen hard times, Matt's family has seen even harder times...but neither of us have ever been homeless. It only took us looking at each other to know we had to help him.

It's weird, looking back at my life in the last few months it's like I can literally see the Lord's hand in my life. It's like he's the one putting ideas in my head. Simple little thoughts I'd have...turn out to make the biggest difference, to me anyway. The fact that months before Jesse passed away, for some reason, I started taking mental notes about the way he laughed, the way he walked, the way his eyes squinted when he smiled. These are just small examples, but as small as they may seem they are so very precious to me now. Another example is this: A few weeks ago, Matt and I decided to sell all of our extra mattresses but one. We had always planned on having two extra beds for guests to sleep on but for some reason we suddenly decided, "Nah! Let's just go with one!" Since we had sold the beds, all that cash had just been sitting in my wallet. I had all these ideas about what we could do with the extra money: Put it in my savings account, put it towards our move to California, put it towards the bikes Matt and I want to get. But I kept getting this feeling to hold off. And after about a week of debating with myself I decided to wait and just hold onto it. I couldn't shake this feeling that an emergency would come up and Matt and I would need it. So, even though it ridiculous to have wads of cash in your wallet...there I was carrying it around day after day.

And it wasn't until this particular Sunday that Matt looked at me and asked, "Do you have any cash with you?" DUH! I'd only been lugging it around for weeks now. Haha. That I started to think maybe this was the emergency I was preparing for. Matt literally ran to our car and got all the cash out of my wallet. At first it made me a little nervous, I'd been saving it for an emergency...but then my heart became full of the Saviors love and I knew immediately that if it was the Lord in my situation he wouldn't even hesitate. Matt and I again exchanged just a glance before I asked if I could be the one to give it to him. My sweet husband just smiled at me and said, of course. We walked over to Daniel and I took his hand in mine. When he felt the bills in his hand he just looked at me. I probably looked like a fool, I was grinning so big, but I felt soooooooo good. I felt so much love for this man and his family. I felt like the Lord had trusted me to be a tool in his hands! It was such a strong, overwhelming feeling I can't even describe it. But I could not stop smiling. He kept thanking us over and over and all I could think to say was, "I feel blessed that we could help you." I then told him, "Go be with your family. Enjoy the sabbath with them." By now he had tears streaming down his face. Me and my family all hugged and with that decided to take the same advice and get some dinner.

Right before my Dad told us about who he'd Met, Daniel.

The whole experience was just amazing. I am so grateful for my parents! What an example they have been to me. I am so incredibly blessed to have Matt not only in my life but as my husband. He is such an example to me every day. He works so hard to provide for me and give me nice things...I feel so spoiled sometimes and it scares me because I never want to be one of those women. But how comforting to know, he really does have his heart in the right place. He spoils me because his personality is a giving one. It's comforting because as his wife, I know his love doesn't end there...he is always looking for opportunities to give to others as well. I truly am so in love with him and his beautiful spirit. How imperfect and undeserving I am, but how grateful I am that days when my weaknesses reveal themselves the most, I have a wonderful husband who is there taking me into his arms, and loving me...

no matter what.