Unworthy

I'm baaaack! And here to report on how the new year is going. I honestly can't say it's going amazingly well because its currently 12:53AM and I'm wide awake surrounded by a soundly snoozing Husband and puppy. At least they're well :)
Maybe I'm a creeper but there is something charming about laying next to your spouse when they're sleeping. I find myself looking at Matt like it's the first time I've ever seen him. I get to really notice all those small things that really took my breath away the first night I met him.
It's crazy but I remember having a sleepover with my girlfriend, I'd only known Matt for almost 2 weeks, and I said to her, "What if I marry, Matt?!" It was almost like I was asking what would happen. Like I knew then I was going to marry him, I just didn't know I knew, or what life would entail.
And if you think I'm one of those girls that thought that about every guy she dated, think again! I was always skeptical going into a relationship. Always thinking, "I wonder how we'll break up." ...Haha :) That makes me sound just wonderful doesn't it? Oh well. All my exes were troopers for putting up with me, but none compared to Matt.
In the past I always admired guys that let me walk away. I thought they were strong. They handled rejection well and it eliminated any drama that breaking up with them may have caused. But not Matt. He was stubborn and he did not let his pride get in the way. Haha. I tried breaking up with him a few times but he never let me go. And not in a weird or bad kind of way. But the kind of way that let me know he really loved me, he would fight for me, and do whatever it took to prove he was worthy of me. I thought I knew what love was until I met Matt. He pushed me and I pushed him back. But that's what I needed. Someone that wouldn't let me walk all over them. Someone that loved me enough to not let me walk away. Someone that showed me how wonderful and deep a relationship can be if you don't run at any sign of hardship. Someone that a few bad days were worth all the good. Because how sad would it be, to be with someone who didn't fight for you during the bad times? During the hard and ugly times? Who just throws their hands in the air and says they're tired?
Matt has taught me so much! And even during those times when I'm so frustrated I could pinch him (and I have pinched him, we've had full on pinching wars! Haha) he says something that makes me realize he's still teaching me. Even when I'm sassy and a punk, he's teaching me how to be a better person. And it's so ironic because all that time, he'd been trying to prove himself to me, prove that he was worthy of me, and here I am... completely unworthy of him.

absolutely fantastic

Happy New Years! It's 2013 and everyone is making resolutions to be a better person and making positive changes in their life. 

It's weird, but I honestly can't remember a time that I actually made a resolution. I guess I just never agreed with the whole idea of it. Most of the time, I don't even realize I have a goal until I've accomplished it, or half way through the year I learn something and a new goal is created. So by the time January comes around, I'm already awesome. 

But I did make a goal about a week ago. I decided I'm completely going off of all carbonated drinks. I really want to be healthier. Focus on the inside. Not skinnier, not more toned. Just all around healthier. And so far it's been going pretty great! I don't even crave the delicious burn that bubbly drinks use to quench.

Other than that, nothing really new going on here. Husband and I got back from spending Christmas with the family. It wasn't really that great. Not because I don't adore my family and it wasn't wonderful to see them. But because I was ill the entire time we were there and spent most of the time laying in the hotel bed, and 1 day in the hospital. By the time we were driving back to sunny California, I missed my family more than before we got there! So not fair. I think it should be illegal to be sick around the holidays.

Also, I'm getting super excited to celebrate Valentines Day. (Yes, I know it's only January.) I never thought I'd be one to be excited about this holiday. To be honest, growing up all my friends hated Valentines day and would call it something clever and witty like Singles Awareness Day. But I never cared one way or the other. Sure I always hoped to get a sucker in the 7th grade from a "valentine." Mostly that was because who didn't want a free sucker in the 7th grade? Now that I'm all grown up and an adult (I can call myself an adult) I find myself completely in love with this holiday. Matt always does something charming and nerdy. Like a couple years ago he had this video made. Not to mention February is the month Matt proposed! 

So basically, what I'm saying is that I'm kind of glad to see 2012 gone and I'm welcoming 2013 with open arms! I have a feeling, it's going to be an amazing year.

wow, just wow

Can we all please take a second to appreciate the all around amazingness of this picture?

We just got back from my parents for Christmas and on our last night my Mom handed me a CD of all my senior portrait pictures. Oh joy! I honestly, barely remember this day. I couldn't remember the clothes I wore, the way I did my hair or make up...so I was pretty excited to pop it into my computer and take a little walk down memory lane.

Haha! I for real laughed out loud. And then quickly covered my mouth with my hand as to not wake Husband, who would surely wonder what was so hysterical, and inevitably end up seeing these incriminating photos. 

I wasn't sure I wanted to share the year because then I might be able to get away with saying it was a REALLY REALLY long time ago, but the truth is, it wasn't that long ago. Like, only 6 1/2 years ago.  If only I could interview myself on this day. Find out exactly what in the world was going through my head...but mostly do some pleading. 

Please past Glenna, PLEASE, rethink the ugly gollumn strands you curled on the top of your head? 

I am begging you!!!

December in a nutshell

These are just a few pictures to represent the Holiday season as it happens in the B home.
I'm not going to lie, it's been an emotional month. There's a lot on Husband and I's plate right now and sometimes the stress and hurt and noise of it all makes it hard to enjoy all the wonderful that life is offering us as well.
Focusing on all the blessings and tender mercies in my life.

And because this may be the last post I do before Tuesday, Merry Christmas!

december

Well, my little brother left on his mission this last Wednesday. {I miss him} My sister started her 2nd round of chemo the day before Thanksgiving. We decided we're going to move. Wait for it, we don't know where to yet. I've registered for classes next semester. Your guess is as good as mine whether I'll survive with my sanity, but let's try to stay optimistic. I just celebrated my 25th birthday. Most days I feel much older than that, and not always in a good way.

And guess what? Tomorrow is December 1st. 

Merry Christmas, everyone.